Miss Marple, we learn, has been led all this time not just by shrewdness, experience and by recalling the helpful similarity of Suspect A to some nefarious fishmonger she used to know, but also by her supernatural powers of scenting evil. (If you follow this advice, however, be sure to also pack a cagoule. You will regret it greatly if you haven’t brought along a shining new pin with which to lance boils and pop pretentions. Be very certain not to overdose however, as a complete lack of memory of the book itself may lead you to read it twice – such a proceeding is, almost invariably, fatal.ĭespite the deliberately comic image of Miss Marple as a woolly, pink-wrapped Nemesis, this book is swollen with pompousness, pus and self-importance, with particular regard to Evil, Injustice and Young Women Today (harlots, all). It also improves post-novel recovery time by up to three weeks. Taking a good few litres of this helpfully amnesiac refreshment and sipping regularly will make the repetition, the reiteration, the tautology, the constant rehashing of the plot so far and the endless going over of the same ground, slightly more bearable. The Waters of Lethe (economy size bottle) Take strong, sturdy shoes, triple-strength argyle socks – and spares – as well as two or three light walking sticks for support, twirling like a baton to keep yourself amused during the dullest parts and/or giving the narrative a damn good, Fawlty-style, thrashing. All I can do is help you prepare.īefore you go in, then, be sure to procure the following, for your health and sanity:īe prepared for a great deal of pointless, squelchy wandering. Scoop up your copy right now – gingerly, and with a long spoon – take warning from the ripe scent of evil and return it to the pit from which it came.īut if you must persist – from completism, obstinacy or some foolish notion of ‘making up your own mind’ rather than being guided by the wisdom of strangers on the internet – then I can’t stop you. Whatever is the case – Stop! It’s not too late. It could even be that you’re quite new to it all and, in your sweet, dewy innocence, have simply reached for the nearest available Christie (seven in stock at your local charity shop and never a queue for the library copy) with a vague feeling of ‘she’s supposed to be decent’ and only a slight puzzlement as to the sinister chord clash and sudden bolt of lightning that coincided with your selection. Maybe you were underwhelmed by Crooked House or Then There Were None or hold that Passenger to Frankfurt was just misunderstood in any case, you see no especial reason to break out the hazard gear for Nemesis. Or perhaps you’re a maverick, reading out of order and with a reckless disregard to the recommended lists. You’ve heard the rumours: but, hey, opinions differ, your expectations are set sensibly low and even an ailing and elderly Christie is still Christie. You’ve read all the brilliant ones, the good and the decent ones and tackled most of those filed under ‘meh!’ and now you feel bound and obliged to complete the set. So, you’re a long-time Agatha Christie fan.
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